banda sonora (guitarra g afterlife mix)

Stormy skies

So much for dawn.  The clouds and rain pretty much prevented any beautiful sunlight from landing on the tree.  Blasted rain.  Now I’ll have to do it all over again.  I should’ve checked the weather first.

In any case, the market was bustling with activity.  So many people up so early on a Sunday morning.  They just have good photographer timing.

Destiny

Working as an artist,
creating and refining,
taking pride in the work.
Definitely not a business
or admin job, could try but
not the ones certainly
to give happiness.
Thought it was about
helping others, on second thoughts
maybe it isn’t.

not there

I read the email.
A name was not there.
There’s lots of information,
things to be done.
A name was not there.

Then came the feeling of depression.
I should be happy today, getting a job done,
but I’m not.

I read other sites, forums -
It doesn’t help.
The nagging feeling
of depression
persists
until I feel sick.

I don’t know
if I can sleep,
being depressed about it
even though I’m already tired.
I’ll try my best I suppose
for tomorrow is a full day:
another day which reminds me
that the name is not there
and I hope   is coping all right.

I suppose I could
get used to this
loss
but getting used is but getting numb
and submerging myself in the work
until the name re-appears.

Despair

Tragedy In The Lottery Of Life

Tragedy is the booby prize
In the lottery we call life,
We hope that it will turn out nice,
We don’t expect to see the knife,
That twists with every little turn,
As problems lift and then return,
And fickle fortune good will spurns
To leave behind a path of strife.

There’s no need to buy a ticket,
Your name, already in the draw,
Will pop up when you least expect,
Deliver crisis to your door,
Take you to a black despair,
Make you gasp for vital air,
As you wonder if, from where,
Another roll could pile on more.

Everyone will meet some fate,
A testing trying sorry plight,
Necessitating they relate,
To amygdala: fight or flight,
Serving much to test resolve,
Presenting hurdles to dissolve,
Shaping lives as they revolve,
While remedy seems out of sight.

Such trials drag the spirit low,
But build up strong the character,
Ensuring we can henceforth show,
A new found platform that from where,
We can pause and take a breath,
As we recover from the stress,
And search for issues to redress,
While working for a true repair.

Malcolm Hulatt © 2003
—————————-

mope not

I shall not mope, but I need to find a way to work out of this system.

myob

Some work dull the mind.  To varying extents, they diminish the capacity to keep interests alive.  So, it is important to remember not to let such work rule life but to use such work to inform those interests.  Keep it real.  Some things are not as important as the effort I put in.  Do it quick but do it.  Keep an eye out for things, people, events that add to those interests.  Be in touch with oneself.  Don’t neglect for too long.  Look at the big picture.  Know what I want.  Be consistent.  Take time out to tidy things or they reflect how entrenched personal history is and one becomes encumbered by it.  Leap from the “present”, any present, any given time.  I procrastinate, I delay what I want.

travel

The Zahir - “They only see what the spotlights show them.  When they go home, they’ll say they know Paris.  Tomorrow, they’ll go and see the Mona Lisa and claim they’ve visited the Louvre.  But they don’t know Paris and have never really been to the Louvre.  All they did was go on a boat and look at a painting, one painting, instead of looking at a whole city and trying to find out what’s happening in it, visiting the bars, going down the streets that don’t appear in any of the tourist guides, and getting lost in order to find themselves again.”

It’s nice to travel with people wanting the same things at any given time.

You can’t be bothered.

IDIOT.

I called on Friday, left the name and my number.  You said you’d ask the officer to check the  next day because the place is now closed.

I call you today and you asked for the name AGAIN and my number AGAIN.  OBVIOUSLY you didn’t do anything on Saturday.  I confirmed that there was an event on Saturday and you said yes.  You said that with so many people, it could very well be gone - which was why I called on Friday so you could ask the officer to check on Sat morning before the people started arriving - which you obviously didn’t.

I asked if I could call half an hour later to confirm if it is indeed not there.  You said if I hear nothing from you today, then it is not found.  Why do I get the feeling that you are not even going to ask the officer to check anyway?

Disclaimer: Emo for now.  This woman could have been very busy over the last few days and today.  I need to vent.

Why do I … ?

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